Thinking about the road season

I enjoy Christmas a great deal, as a festival of lights and as a time when I get to see my extended family a lot. This photo is of me thinking about my new (ish) road bike and the gear I will be buying at Walts with my new Walt's gift card. Also notice the sweaty sheen that too much wine and food has produced on my forehead and upper lip. My wife took this picture, so I'm only partially responsible for the gayness of it.

I'm debating the racing thing--it hasn't really materialized much over the last few years. The last official race I did was a 4-5s crit in St. Louis in March of 2005 (racing 4s again was a blast). Racing as a cat. 4 requires just a modicum of fitness, which can generally be achieved by short, intense workouts since the races aren't very long. Its the traveling that kind of gets to me--if I were to race, I'd very carefully select a calendar of events for which I'd set aside a budget for race fees, travel and any other expenses. That's another thing that stresses me out about it since we are living on one salary, plus Kelly's tutoring income, and I don't make much money . . .

And that's something I've learned--if racing is something that is not fun and is stressful, than I don't like cycling anymore, and God knows not liking cycling is a terrible thing for me. Its difficult, though, because I love the CONCEPT of racing: I dream about it, idolize those who can do it well, and remember past races that were fun and invigorating. The thing is, I've officially "quit" about 5 times, as long ago as 1988 and as recently as 2000.

With that said, I view cycling not only as a great entertainment, but also as a place to achieve redemption, perhaps, even a state of grace. If racing gets in the way of that sense of a satisfaction, then "just riding" will have to do for now.